


Him???

by mcr_broke_my_dun_dun_heart (orphan_account)



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: DONT COME AFTER ME, Don’t fucking judge me cuz I was eleven, I hate myself for this, Linkin Park - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 06:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18330656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mcr_broke_my_dun_dun_heart
Summary: don’t judge but chester is somehow this persons dad





	Him???

**Author's Note:**

> alright so I wrote this two years ago when I was in sixth grade and I was eleven. I’m thirteen now and regretting this so say whatever you want

I got out of bed on a Saturday morning and found that my mother was packing a suitcase. I asked her where she was going and she said that she and I were going to California. I said, “Cool, but why?”  
She replied, “Don’t get too excited. We’re going to a funeral.”  
I was surprised. I didn’t think we knew anyone who lived in California.  
“Who died?” I asked.  
“A relative that we don’t talk to.” She answered.  
So I started packing. We had an early flight so we left soon after that.  
When we got to Cali, I realized that I didn’t pack a black dress. My mom left me at the hotel and went to buy one. While I was by myself, I watched tv. I turned on the news and saw that my favorite person in the whole world, Chester Bennington, had committed suicide. I was completely heartbroken. He was a one of the legendary singers from Linkin Park. So I sat on the couch, sad that Linkin Park wouldn’t be producing music anymore. While I was moping, my mom came back to the hotel with my dress. It was so elegant and soft. The top was made of satin and the skirt was made of a super soft and fluffy fabric. It looked like it cost a million dollars. I asked her where she got it and she said it was from a friend.  
The next day was the funeral. I put the dress on. It fit like it was made just for me. I loved it.  
In the car, I asked my mother again who died. The reply was the same. “Just a relative that we don’t talk to.”  
When we got to the funeral home, I was shocked. There, lying in the coffin, was none other than Chester Bennington. I was totally crushed and confused. The news report yesterday said that this was private and only open to close friends and family. “Mom, we aren’t supposed to be here. It’s not open to the public, only family and friends.” I whispered.  
“I wasn’t lying when I told you it was a relative.” She said.  
“We are related to him?” I asked. I couldn’t believe it. We were related to him and I didn’t even know? My grief doubled. I never got to meet him. “How are we related to him?”  
“You’ll find out soon enough.” Came the reply.  
I felt like an outsider. So I sat down thinking What in the hell are we doing here? Soon it was time to do the speeches, or whatever they’re called. Each one of the guys from LP said something and so did Talinda, his wife. Then my mom went up to the podium. Oh God, I thought. I thought something was seriously wrong with her. She was crazy! We weren’t supposed to be here! I was so embarrassed. Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. She said, “I loved Chester. To see him like this makes me feel terribly sad, and I feel like I could have done something.” Here comes the interesting part: “Even though she never met him, my daughter is very happy to know that he is her father. He meant the world to both of us.”  
“Wait, hold the phone, WHAT?!?!?!?” I said when she came back to her seat. She just looked at me calmly and said again that he was my father. “Wait, weren’t you dating dad by the time you were pregnant?”  
“Yes, I was. I was cheating on Chester.”  
“That’s why he left. That’s why you said you could’ve done something.” I said. I started feeling dizzy. “I need to go outside.”  
“Okay, take as much time as you need.”  
I walked out the double doors as quickly as I could without looking like I just escaped from prison. I sat down on the sidewalk and started sobbing. Not only did I just find out that my favorite person was dead, but I found out that he was my father and I never got to meet him. Then, I heard the doors open. I quickly sat up straight because I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy. It was Mike Shinoda. Go fucking figure. He sat down next to me. He was silent for a really long time. It was such a long time that he startled me when he talked. “Are you okay?” He asked me.  
“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you okay?” I asked back.  
“Not really. He was my best friend. I feel like a part of me died with him.” He went silent again. “You would have loved him.” He said after a long time.  
“I’m sure I would have.” I sighed. “I can’t believe he’s my father.”  
“Wait, you didn’t know?” He questioned. “Your mother never told you?”  
“Nope.” I sighed again. “Can I be honest for a second and say everything that’s in my head right now?”  
“Sure. You seem just like him. You know that, right?” He replied.  
“Thanks. No one has ever said that to me.” I said back. He chuckled a little. “Okay, so I can say anything. Even things that normal eleven year olds shouldn’t say?”  
“Sure, but nothing too mean.” He said hesitantly.  
“Okay. Well, my mother barely tells me anything. She only told me that the man I live with wasn’t my dad earlier this summer. For almost twelve years she lied to me. I didn’t know anything about what happened.” I started sniffling. “She told me that when he found out that she was pregnant, he left because he didn’t want a child. Then that she hooked up with one of her old boyfriends before I was born. I asked her who my dad was, and she said I would learn when I was ready. I stayed in my room for the rest of that night, listening to Linkin Park. I have a Linkin Park song for every mood.” My nose started running. “If I had a song to describe this moment, it would either be ‘Sorry for Now’ or ‘Waiting for the End.’ They both make me feel happy, if I don’t listen to the words. Just like if Chester wouldn’t have done this, I would be happy right now. But if I do listen to the words, I get so sad. My sadness just swallows me whole and I can’t be happy. Unless I listen to both the beat and the words. Then everything works in perfect harmony. That’s the only way that the songs are different from this moment. My emotions aren’t working in harmony. My grief is overpowering my happiness. I feel like I’m drowning in my own emotions.” I sighed. Then I added, “And its all because my mom was a stupid, little slut.”  
He looked surprised. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”  
“It’s okay. You just seem a little young to know things like that.” He said.  
“I know. Sometimes I just forget that I’m supposed to act normal.”  
“What do you mean?” Mike questioned.  
“I know a lot of things I shouldn’t know. I hear a lot of things I shouldn’t hear. An eleven year old shouldn’t need to say that. Wait, let me rephrase that. Normal eleven year olds shouldn’t need to say that.” I said. He nodded.  
“Do you want to know something?” Mike asked.  
“Um… sure.” I said hesitantly.  
“Your mom wasn’t the only one cheating.” Mike told me.  
“What do you mean?” My heart started beating really fast.  
“Chester was already with Talinda while he was with your mom. He stopped seeing your mom when Talinda almost found out. He realized he loved Talinda more than Allison. And I’m assuming, soon after that, your mom found out she was pregnant.” He informed me.  
I gasped. “So it wasn’t only my mother. It was both of them.” I suddenly had the urge to curl up into a ball. “My brain is melting!”  
I was so overwhelmed. Everything was being forced upon me all at once. I started sobbing again. I heard Mike sigh and saw that silent tears were falling down his face. I felt sympathetic towards him. I reached out and put my arms around his neck. He soon returned the embrace and we both shared a wry smile. “I needed that. Thank you.” He said.  
“Well, it’s not everyday I get to hug one of my favorite people.” I chuckled.  
After that, we both felt a little bit happier. Then, I said, “Do you want to take a walk?”  
“Sure.”  
We both got up, wiped our eyes, and set out. We probably looked a little weird, walking along the road with Mike in a suit and me in my big dress. We didn’t care though. We were past caring. It felt nice to have someone to talk to. Someone who actually understood me. We walked for a really long time. It didn’t seem like that, though. Mike was telling me about what some of the songs were about and what important things went on in their personal lives. It was nice. When we got back, my mom was waiting for us. “Where have you been?” She asked. “You aren’t supposed to be out by yourself!”  
“I was with Mike.” I said coolly. I pointed behind me.  
“We were just talking.” Mike told my mom.  
“About what?” She asked.  
“About how you kept a HUGE secret from me.” I said defiantly.  
“Well, it was because I didn’t know how you would handle it.” She said regretfully.  
Suddenly I felt bad. I was yelling at my mother for protecting me? Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m so sorry I was mad at you. You were only trying to protect me.” I started sobbing again. I threw my arms around her. Then I turned to Mike. I hugged him too. “Thank you.” I whispered in his ear.  
“It’s okay. Thank you, too.” He replied.  
“Are you ready to go?” Mom asked.  
“Not just yet.” Mike said. He had that devilish smile on his face. My heart was beating really fast again. He took my hand and walked me over to where the rest of the LP members were sitting.  
“Mike, what are you doing?” I hissed.  
“I’m introducing you.” He replied.  
“Oh God.” I felt so nervous. Me hands started shaking.  
“Hey guys. This is Chester’s first daughter, Sarah.” He introduced.  
“Hi.” I said, but it came out barely a whisper.  
“You guys, she is exactly like him.” He said. I blushed.  
“What do you mean?” Rob asked.  
“Yeah what do you mean?” I asked.  
“She talks exactly like him. Her personality is exactly like him.” He said. I blushed even more.  
“I also have the same birthday as you, Rob.” I told him.  
“Cool.”  
“I love your music. I am totally obsessed with Linkin Park. I wish I had all of your albums, but my dad won’t buy me any more. He says that he doesn’t want to ‘feed the obsession.’” I rolled my eyes.  
“Hey, do you want to meet more people? I can introduce you to Talinda and the kids.” Mike asked.  
“Um… sure.” I was nervous again. I never thought I would meet any of them, but now I’m meeting everyone associated with Linkin Park.  
He took me over to them. “Hi.” I said.  
“Hello.” Talinda said. She seemed so nice. I immediately felt like I had to talk to her.  
“I can’t believe I’m your stepdaughter.” I told her. My words all came out in a rush.  
“So you are Allison’s daughter?” She asked.  
“Yeah. I only found out you were my stepmother an hour ago.”  
“Are you okay? You left in a hurry.”  
“Yeah. For a little bit, I couldn’t stand my mother. But then I realized that she was trying to protect me.”  
“I understand why she did that. What I don’t understand is why they both were cheating on each other.” She trailed off.  
“I’m glad he chose you and not my mother. She’s a great person, but sometimes she can be a little…” I didn’t say the rest. Talinda nodded.  
“Well, since you are their stepsister, I’ll introduce you to the kids.” Now I was following Mike and Talinda.  
When I saw them, I felt so bad. Everyone was crying. It was a room full of sadness that I didn’t quite share in the same way. They all lost a father; I only lost a favorite band.  
I felt like breaking down when Talinda introduced me to Jaime, the eldest. He was crying silent tears and his face was blotchy. “Hello.” I said.  
“Hi.” He replied sadly.  
“My name is Sarah.”  
“What are you doing here?” He questioned me.  
“I’m your step sister.” I said hesitantly.  
“What? How?” He turned to Talinda. He seemed skeptical. “Is she telling the truth?”  
“Yes, she is.”  
“Chester and my mother had an affair. They were both cheating on each other. I only found out that the man who I was calling my father wasn’t my father this summer, and I only found out today that Chester was my real dad.” I informed him.  
He turned to Mike now. “Is that what really happened?” He asked.  
“Yep.”  
“I just have one question.” He said. “Talinda, did you know?”  
“Chester eventually told me he had a secret daughter. I decided not to tell the everyone because they would hate him if they found out.” She said sadly.  
“I don’t hate Chester, but I’m a little mad at my mother. She could have at least told me a little bit.” I said.  
After that, we sat down and talked about Chester for a while. Lots of funny stories were shared, and some sad ones. I just sat, listening, fascinated. This felt amazing. I was talking to some of my favorite people like I’d known them for years.  
Eventually, my mother came to get me. “Are you ready now?” She asked.  
“Yeah,” I said sadly. I turned back to my new adult friends. “Bye, guys.”  
Mike got up. He came over and gave me a hug. I hugged Talinda and Jaime. I said goodbye to all of my step siblings. I would genuinely miss these people. I was almost ready to leave when Mike stopped me. “I need to tell you one thing, are you ready?” He asked. I was totally shocked and confused. His smile seemed sad, and almost devious.  
“Um… sure.” I said. But I wasn’t sure, I was scared.  
“You would have loved Chester, and I’m sure he loved you, but,” He paused. “I love you too. The guys in the band love you. Talinda loves you. The kids love you. Everyone loves you. Remember that. You seeming like Chester sometimes isn’t the best thing. You seemed depressed when we were outside talking. I don’t want you to do what he did. I love you, Sarah.” The silent tears were there again.  
“Oh, Mike. I love you too.” I started crying now. “I love everyone in this family. They really understand me. I can be myself around these people.” I gave Mike and Talinda one last hug, and we walked out of the room. Before we left, my mom pulled me aside.  
“Were they really that nice to you?” She asked me.  
“Yeah. They treated me like I had known them for years. It felt nice to be around people like them. But I might never see them again.” I looked down at the floor.  
“You’ll see them again. I promise you will.” She said.  
“But we don’t live near them.” I countered.  
“Who says we can’t visit.” She smiled.  
And that’s why I spent the next few summers with the Shinoda family.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if you see something that should be corrected


End file.
